Tears
by Kageka
Summary: Kisame finally found a village he hated more than Kiri. He wondered how people with such fancy eyes could be so blind. Why couldn't anyone see her tears? Fem!Itachi. Can be taken as Kisaita/Itakisa.


Hoshigaki Kisame prided himself in being intelligent. Sure, he wasn't quite up to the level of his taciturn partner, but he knew how to piece mysteries together when given enough clues.

When Kisame learned that his partner would be another new recruit, he suppressed a groan. He was tired of cocky, big mouthed teens who believed they knew everything. They all ended up dying of mysterious water-related deaths and Kisame was beginning to suspect that Pain-sama threw them at him as some sort of screening test.

He had been a little curious about this one. Leaving a village by massacre wasn't uncommon for S-rank missing-nin, but this kid was a thirteen-year-old ANBU Captain. That meant that he had been trusted by the Hokage and he still went and killed off his clan. But Kisame wasn't one to judge by previous accomplishments and waited till he laid eyes on Uchiha Itachi.

Kisame's first impression of Itachi had been one of curiosity. Just shy of fourteen, the youth had been a mystery. With his svelte build, long lashes and snowy skin, he looked like a porcelain doll, like a harsh wind could topple him over and smash him to pieces. But Kisame hadn't gotten this far by making such fatal mistakes. The murderer's eyes held a hollow and consuming darkness when they weren't alight with the colour of fire and blood. Samehada could feel the death clinging to him and Kisame knew that if they were to fight, the Uchiha would come out on top.

But even if he could, Kisame decided that he won't kill this one. He loved a good mystery and after all, you couldn't kill someone who was already dead.

* * *

The first out-of-place event Kisame noticed was his insomnia.

Itachi had nightmares, but they weren't uncommon for ninja. What was uncommon was his inability to sleep. He would go three or four nights without rest and crash for half the day with a fitful sleep. Most ninja would have forced themselves to sleep with a jutsu or pills, but Itachi seemed desperately trying to stay awake.

They were camping outside when Itachi finally slept and he took the watch.

" _I'm sorry, father. I'm sorry, mother. Please, Sasuke, I'm sorry. Please don't look at me like that. Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please forgive me. Shisui, please help me. No… don't go, don't die, I'm sorry. Please, please, please."_

It was becoming common for Kisame to hear such pleas, but he knew that Itachi was a private person and might decide to kill him for seeing his weakness. He didn't want to take his chances when he heard a pitiful whimper.

" _Someone please save me."_

An image of himself, lying in an inn murmuring the same plea flashed unbidden across his mind. Sighing, Kisame got up and walked over to Itachi's side.

"Itachi-san." The kid whimpered and continued thrashing about. Kisame shook him and dodged the kunai thrown at him.

"Calm down, Itachi-san." The kid eyed him suspiciously. Kisame could see him slowly picking up the pieces of his mask and stitching them up as best as he could.

"Why did you wake me up?"

"Use your Sharingan." Itachi activated his Sharingan and watched as Kisame ran through the seals _Rat-Ram-Rat_.

"What jutsu is that?"

"It wards off nightmares. Do it before you go to sleep. I'm assuming you know a jutsu that makes you sleep." Itachi stared at him emotionlessly.

"... I'm going to back to sleep."

Kisame watched as Itachi perform the seals _Rat-Ram-Rat_.

* * *

By the two-year mark of their partnership, Kisame had concluded that the Konoha Council was senile and the Uchiha clan must've been a bunch of blind, blind idiots.

Itachi went out of his way to avoid confrontation, stretching a five-minute job into a two-hour assassination. Kisame didn't see the need. Why should they stakeout for hours when he could just trap the whole building in a water jutsu and drown everyone? It's not as if they had to be subtle and he could do it without breaking a sweat. But Itachi insisted on casting an area genjutsu despite his meagre chakra reserves.

Itachi called it practice. Kisame called it bullshit.

Didn't they notice his over-reliance on genjutsu? Didn't they notice how he spared his enemies even when it was a waste of chakra? Didn't they notice the flash of distaste at a mission involving the lives of innocents?

Uchiha Itachi wasn't just the prodigy of prodigies. He was a sixteen-year-old who cried himself to sleep. A kid desperately scrubbing the blood of his hands but still pleading for the lives of his enemies. A gentle soul with a will of fire and a backbone of steel as he drove his blade through the hearts of others. He didn't need years of wisdom or a pair of fancy eyes to see that. Itachi wasn't made to be a ninja, much less ANBU.

Kisame wondered what drove his blade.

* * *

Kisame got his answer a few months later when they met Itachi's little brother.

Itachi hardly used taijutsu. He was good at it as he was with everything, but he always avoided physical contact when possible. Seeing Itachi torture, hit and _touch_ the kid, a mere genin, told him enough.

Itachi loved that brat to pieces.

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard, Itachi-san. You have the worst chakra stores and chakra recovery rate in the Akatsuki." Itachi's recovery rate was worse than most jōnin. Itachi laid on the bed, his Akatsuki cloak slung over a chair as he stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. They were forced to stay at an inn after Itachi collapsed of chakra exhaustion.

"Hn."

"You should sleep. We don't know who may be following." Itachi's eyes closed. Kisame took it for what it was: a sign of trust. Itachi formed a one-handed seal.

"Kai." Slowly, Itachi's body beginning twisting and morphing. He shrunk 3 inches, his hair grew longer, his features grew softer. Wearing only a simple T-shirt and pants, Kisame could clearly see his hips widen and he grew… _breasts?_

"Itachi-san?" Itachi opened his… her eyes and glanced at him.

"It's exactly as you see." Hi-her voice was no longer deep. Sure, it was low for a woman, but still distinctly _female_. Now that Kisame thought of it, it made a lot of sense. Women on average had lower chakra stores than men. Factoring in the chakra cost of constantly upkeeping a genjutsu, naturally low chakra stores and Itachi's sickness, it made sense that Itachi's chakra stores and recovery rate would be so low.

"Why?" Itachi's eyes closed and he… she exhaled slightly harder than usual. Essentially the Itachi-version of screaming at the heavens asking 'Why? Kami-sama, why?'

"This isn't how an Uchiha woman should look like." Kisame blinked. Was it his imagination or…

"Huh?" Itachi gestured at her figure. Her hips and shoulders were wider than before and the curves were apparent under the form-fitting shirt. Her breasts were, at least, a C.

"Uchiha women are supposed to be slender and petite. Having a bust is a Senju characteristic." Nope. Not his imagination. The universally feared and extraordinarily attractive Uchiha Itachi just admitted to having body image issues.

"So you decided to become a guy."

"Hn." And that was the end of that conversation.

Kisame had always wondered why Itachi killed her clan. But looking at her now, Kisame thinks that the Uchiha may have done more damage to her than she did to them.

* * *

It started with a little cough.

Itachi waved away his concerns, but Kisame knew that if she was showing it, it must be serious enough to warrant a doctor's visit. Nevertheless, he chose not to mention it, aside from the light reminder not to push herself because he knew Itachi would none of that.

That had been before they infiltrated Konoha. Two years later, Itachi was coughing up blood into a sink and Kisame decided enough was enough and dragged her to the Amegakure hospital. The fact that he could do so showed the alarming deterioration of her health.

It was a controllable lung disease. Fatal if aggravated, but as long as Itachi took the proper medications, she should be able to function normally. They paid for the medicines and quickly headed back to base.

One week later, the medicine case was still unopened. Kisame was smart enough to know what that meant.

* * *

It had been a tough fight. They were in an enclosed area and he couldn't pull out his grand jutsu or swing Samehada around freely. Konoha ANBU had decided to send four squads after them. Or maybe it wasn't Konoha. Despite their masks and uniform, they didn't have the teamwork that Konoha was famous for. Either way, Itachi had gotten off with superficial wounds and chakra depletion while he had gotten a poisoned blade between his ribs and they were forced to wait for Sasori. Samehada could heal the stab wound, but couldn't do anything about the poison, so Itachi had to stay to guard him.

Night had fallen, and they had used many anti-venoms in an attempt to purge the poison. Kisame's fever reached dangerous levels when Itachi got to his side and began sponging his forehead and wiping him gently with a wet cloth. She had removed the genjutsu as she did when she was low on chakra.

Kisame had always known the Itachi was attractive, but it had been a casual fact belatedly noticed. Like passing by a particularly scenic environment and thinking, 'that's nice' before moving on. However, in the light of the campfire behind her, with faint worry for him etched onto her face and her soft hands wiping his body, Kisame thought that she was gorgeous.

Itachi was a loyal, strong, smart, gentle, kind, caring, patient, courteous, quick-witted, beautiful, respectful, talented, humble, agreeable and considerate woman and Kisame was pretty sure that the person they trusted most was each other, something extremely valuable in their line of work. They guarded each other's backs, bandaged each other's wounds and fought together as a team. Kisame could understand her subtle cues and lengthy silences and she was unfazed by his bloodthirstiness and sharklike characteristics. Maybe in a different world…

Kisame blamed the drugs, the fever, the blood loss, the ANBU and the genjutsu because he was clearly delirious.

* * *

"You are really going to do it?" It was a normal night in the forest and they were sitting around the campfire, waiting for the fish to be ready.

"Hn?"

"Letting your brother kill you, that is." Itachi's head snapped towards him, sharingan spinning. She drew her kunai.

"Choose your next words carefully."

"Don't worry. I haven't told anyone. It's not that hard to figure out. It's obviously you love the brat and you're suicidal. Someone like you should never have been a ninja." Her eyes narrowed.

"And?"

"And nothing. I've known for a while. I have no idea why you killed your clan, but I'm glad they're dead. I can tell you don't feel the same way, though." Itachi stared at him. Kisame fearlessly met her sharingan.

"What-" Itachi started coughing. Blood spattered on the forest floor and Kisame took out her water, towels and medication. Handing them to her, she snatched them up and jammed the pills down her throat before going into another coughing fit.

Itachi was a strong woman. She could face legions of men unflinchingly and come out unscratched. She could force elite jōnin to their knees and drive them insane within seconds. If she wanted to, Kisame had no doubt that she could both save and destroy the world. But she was on her knees, hunching over the forest floor and shaking with the force of her own coughs.

Looking at Itachi, Kisame wanted to rip apart whoever had thought it was a bright idea to make her a ninja. Kisame could see her as a civilian humanitarian worker, a psychologist, a doctor, a human rights activist, an orphanage caretaker and a whole list of other non-violent, pro-humanitarian careers. She would've been the best in any of the above fields and she might've moved villages and countries.

But no. They decided to make her a ninja and Kisame was suddenly glad that the Uchiha clan was dead.

* * *

When Itachi died, most expressed surprise. Uchiha Sasuke may have killed Deidara, but despite the blond's loud declarations, everyone knew that Deidara and Itachi were on completely different levels.

When Itachi died, Kisame was filled with the overwhelming urge to take her little brother's head and smash it against the wall until he knocked some sense into him. Sasuke was in over his head. He was older than Itachi had been when she killed the Uchiha clan and he still couldn't beat her when she was legally blind, drowning in her own blood and trying to let him win. He didn't win, he didn't kill Itachi, there was nothing to avenge in the first place. Nevertheless, unlike a certain blind idiot, Kisame chose to respect Itachi's last wishes.

When Itachi died, Kisame was relieved. Her silent cries were finally put to rest.


End file.
